Today is my 40th birthday. As you know, I’ve been preparing for this day for quite some time because I think it’s a big deal. I didn’t think too much about turning 30 a decade ago, so my excitement this time around is a sign of growth that I celebrate wholeheartedly. Besides taking the day to pamper myself and get my picture taken, I wanted to share with you the 40 things I am grateful for after four decades on this planet.
One of the main reasons I’m welcoming 40 is that I’ve had the privilege of seeing life from both older and younger perspectives, thanks to living with my grandmothers as a little girl, teenager, and young woman. I was able to experience a sort of Benjamin Button life. Growing up with older women gave me a vantage point—a lens to view life from a different angle. One of the main things it taught me early on was how brief and precious our time on this planet is, and the importance of finding joy in everyday things.
Another reason I’m eager to celebrate my four decades is my love of storytelling. I really want to leave a record for my children, to give them insight into my life as a girl and during the time before I became a mom. This desire has allowed me to reflect deeply on my experiences and the many blessings and challenges I’ve encountered up to this point.
I feel privileged to have the means to create this record and the awareness to appreciate the many wonderful things I’ve experienced. Of course, my life hasn’t been a fairy tale, and there have been struggles. However, there has also been so much magic, laughter, friendship, and love that I couldn’t possibly focus on the missteps, losses, or pain. I choose to celebrate the beauty and the gifts I’ve been given.
While I’m sharing the 40 things I am grateful for, there are many more that didn’t make it onto this list. This is just the top list—it couldn’t possibly be a top 10 or top 20 for obvious reasons.
Here Are The 40 Things I Am Grateful For At 40:
1. My three children. Growing up, I was one of those little girls who dreamed of being a mom. At age 14, I told my grandmother that if I wasn’t married by 28, I would have a baby. She was in disbelief that at such a young age, I had the desire to have a child out of wedlock. Even in my wildest days as a single 20-something, my friends laughed and thought I was crazy for wanting three children (if they were triplets, even better!). I am beyond grateful to be a mother to three healthy, loving children who give me more than I could ever imagine.
2. Mamá Amparo. When I was 13, my grandmother used to say that her only worry was that she would die and leave her poor son unattended. To that, I always replied, “But Papi is 40 and I’m only 13—what about me?” She would immediately say, “I’m not worried about you girls; you can already fend for yourselves!” Mamá Amparo was in my life until I was 35, and few things in my life are more precious than having been her daughter. She was a constant source of love and support throughout my life and the best teacher on how to be a mom.
3. My partner. Those who have met my husband know that we are a perfect example of the “opposites attract” law of physics. I am very grateful that our paths crossed and that we’ve been able to create a partnership that some still don’t understand, but that is based on mutual love, respect, and common goals. Having someone who supports me and nurtures the independent woman I am is golden. This is definitely in the top 5 things I am grateful for.
4. My family. Something that truly fills my heart is belonging to my own Brady Bunch. We are all opinionated, loud, and strong-willed, but we value the strength that a close family bond provides. We’ve been through many ups and downs together, and we have grown stronger and more united. I love them and feel fortunate to have been born into this crazy, fun bunch!
5. My friends. There are people who have been a constant throughout my life—angels who have guided and supported me. I’m fortunate to have amazing friends: those who have been with me for most of my life and those who have come into my life more recently but have provided a safe haven during my hardest moments. Definitely one of the top 40 things I am grateful for at 40!
6. My career. I must confess that when I chose to enter the communications field and the school of journalism, I wasn’t 100% sure of my choice. I was just 15 years old when I made that decision, after all. However, becoming a journalist, writer, and storyteller has been one of the most fulfilling things in my life. I cannot imagine being in a field where I couldn’t communicate, speak, train, teach, and tell stories.
7. Health. Growing up, I was often sick and spent a good part of my childhood on very long trips to the doctor. Since my teens, I’ve been very healthy, even when I haven’t always been kind to my body. As I approach a new decade and get older, I’m grateful for my health and the awareness to preserve it through good habits and choices.
8. Awareness. Being a lover of movies, I’ve always wished that at some point in my life I would be as wise as some of the characters Meryl Streep has portrayed on the big screen. While I recognize that aging has made me wiser, I know that acquiring wisdom is a process that takes time. Like I said last year, wisdom is not a given quality; it is rather an acquired attribute that involves time, thought, and awareness. On my 40th birthday, I am grateful for my newfound awareness that allows me to seek knowledge, better myself, and continue on this journey toward a happier life.
9. Technology. The wonderful gift of living in the era of connection, nurturing relationships with those we love even when they are geographically far away. For me, technology has also provided a new way to develop professionally, combining my passions and expertise to give back and do business. I’m grateful that in my 40s, we have connectivity, and that I’m technologically savvy enough to reap all the benefits it offers.
10. Co-sleeping. For all the moms out there who have chosen to co-sleep, you know not only the benefits for the kids, but also the amazing bonding experience it provides. Growing up, I co-slept with my grandma and my father out of necessity, as we had to share a room and a bed many times. In my case, I chose to do it for the bonding with my children and ended up loving the connection it created. As we prepare to transition our last child out of our bed, I’m grateful for 8 years of love and bonding through co-sleeping.
11. Good conversations. I love talking and having good conversations with friends and loved ones. Now that I’m a busy mom of three, I treasure those conversations when I have time to engage. Looking back, it seems like that’s all I used to do in my 20s with my friends, and I loved it. At 40, I’m really grateful when schedules align and I can have a good conversation with someone.
12. Laughter. I love to laugh, and having a good sense of humor is one of the things I like about myself. I’m really grateful to have laughter in my life, especially the laughter of my kids and all the silliness around me as a mom of three young children.
13. Sunshine. I jokingly say that I’m related to Superman because I get my power from the sun. As a Caribbean woman, a Dominican, I love being under the sun, and living in North Carolina, I get to enjoy more sunny days than gray ones. That’s one of the simple pleasures I’m thankful for.
14. The beach. When I lived in the Dominican Republic, I made a point of going to the beach every week. After moving to the US, I haven’t had that luxury, and I cherish every time I get to go and enjoy the ocean. Now that I live in NC, I’m grateful to have the ocean closer and to visit every summer.
15. Traveling. I love to travel, and throughout my life, it has been a constant. Before I was an adult, I traveled around the Dominican Republic, and after turning 18, the opportunity to travel internationally opened up. I’m grateful to have the means to travel for pleasure and the opportunity to travel for work, which is always fun and enriching.
16. Music. Like sunshine, I feel that music gives me life. I could tell my life story through songs, and I listen to music that makes me reminisce about moments and experiences, reliving them again. The connection I feel with the stories told in songs is something really special to me, and I’m thankful to have such a profound relationship with it.
17. Movies. Without being an artist myself, I’m grateful to have the sensitivity to experience and enjoy the arts deeply. Going to the movies is one of those things that brings me joy, lets my imagination fly, and moves me to laughter and tears.
18. Being a tomboy. While loving the arts and being very sensitive, I also happen to be a tomboy who loves sports and it’s more comfortable in jeans and without makeup. I’m grateful for the freedom to be who I am and the places it has taken me.
19. Pictures. When I decided to document my life digitally, I realized how fortunate I am to have had a father who loves taking pictures (and now videos). I love pictures—both being in them and taking them—because they allow me to look back at the moments we cherish. Through pictures, I can see my babies when they were still babies, and I can also show them how I looked when I was a baby myself. To me, that’s priceless!
20. Being Dominican. I’m one of those people who are proud of where they come from. One of the reasons I’m so grateful to be Dominican is the easygoing Caribbean trait that allows you to view life at a slower pace and with much less seriousness. It’s the ability to let go, not stress about simple challenges in life, and to have grown up in a culture of happiness—where people get close to others more easily.
21. Having hot Water. If I think about it, I’m truly grateful to simply have water as I had to walk miles to fetch water when I was a kid. Going back to the hot water topic, the fact that I just open the faucet and I get warm water at will is still mind-blowing to me. During what we considered to be cold nights back in the Dominican Republic, I used to warm the water in a pot on the stove and then prepare my warm water in a bucket to shower. At 40, it is all about the simple pleasures and having hot water it’s definitely one of those!
22. Focusing on what matters. In the last few years I’ve experienced a shift in my thinking and started to look for more meaning. I’ve discovered that bliss comes from knowing you are doing exactly what you need to be doing, by living based on your values and being aware and intentional. At 40, I’m grateful to be actively working on that, on leaving behind the things that don’t serve me to embrace those that give me peace and joy..
23. Being a caregiver. Caring for my grandmother during the last years of her life was one of the hardest and most humbling experiences of my life. It gave me a deep look into our humanity, and the need we have, as humans, to care for one another.
24. Afternoon walks. Love those lazy afternoons where we walk as a family around the neighborhood.
25. Having YOU. Pouring my knowledge, opinions, ideas, thoughts and experiences with all of you is a privilege I don’t take for granted. I’m grateful you are out there, on the other side of the screen, reading and supporting me. You made the journey of blogging feel less lonely, as often it can feel. I want you to know that I’m genuinely grateful for your company and the privilege of having you as a part of my story. ¡Gracias!
26. Hardship. As strange as it may sound, I’m grateful for the hard moments and struggles I’ve experienced because they’ve given me perspective and deepened my appreciation for the blessings I enjoy today.
27. Being a provider. As adults, the ultimate test is providing for others—whether children, parents, or other relatives. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to be that person because it means I’ve had, and continue to have, the resources to support others.
28. Home-cooked meals. I was raised on the home-cooked food my grandmother lovingly prepared. As an adult living in the United States, I know it is a privilege to enjoy and provide my children with fresh, homemade meals, thanks to my mother.
29. My parents. The fact that my mom and dad are alive and well is something I celebrate. Having the opportunity to experience a relationship with my parents as an adult fills me with joy, and I’m deeply thankful for that.
30. Intimacy. After having loved and experienced heartache, I’m grateful to be in a relationship with true intimacy. I cherish the inside jokes, the moments of parenting that only the two of us can appreciate, and the knowledge that we share things about each other no one else knows.
31. Healthy children. There is nothing a mom appreciates more than having healthy kids. I’m no exception!
32. Growing up outdoors. I’m grateful for the childhood I had—playing outside with open doors, coming and going freely. I hope my children can experience that one day, but I’m content I was fortunate enough to have grown with that much freedom.
33. Courage. Not everyone can be courageous, and those who are can’t necessarily be so every time. I’m grateful to have witnessed courage, to recognize it, and to practice it. I’m thankful to continue working on my awareness and to be willing to be courageous, even when I feel like giving up.
34. Being daddy’s little girl. As one of my father’s six daughters, I’ve always loved being daddy’s little girl. Bonding with him over baseball and sports, having heated discussions about Dominican politics, or defending feminism to a traditional Dominican macho—I’m grateful for it all!
35. Embracing change. Throughout the amazing ride that these four decades of life have been, I’ve always embraced change. This has allowed me to navigate difficult times and find joy in the journey.
36. Sisterhood. As many of you know, I have five sisters by blood. However, life has blessed me with other sisters in the amazing friends I have. I’m grateful for them all and for the sacred bond we share in our womanhood.
37. Coconut. It might sound silly to be grateful for coconut, but for me, there’s a deep connection to my identity and roots through coconut. Because Mamá Amparo, being from the south of the Dominican Republic, taught me the best coconut recipes. The endless memories of my life with coconut at the center of meals, my African roots, the best aromas, and the most sacred moments are all tied to this.
38. Love. I’m thankful for having so much love in my life—from those I’m related to by blood and those with whom I share the beautiful bond of friendship.
39. The pursuit of happiness. I’m grateful to know that I’m part of a bigger picture, that somewhere there is a God who allows me to be here, to have these blessings, and that I can—and should—pursue happiness, joy, and be a source of these for those around me.
40. Unapologetically me. While I’ve always been independent and outgoing, I can definitely say I feel freer today. I accept that not everyone is going to love me, and I know that the love relationship I need to be most in tune with is the one I have with myself. I’m grateful for that awareness and the freedom that comes with it.
Phew! I know this is a long post, and I won’t judge if you don’t read it all the way through. However, it’s my birthday, and I wanted to say these things out loud (a.k.a. publish them online for everyone to see) so I can celebrate my life today. I also hope that one day, when my own children turn 40, they can read this, reflect, and find many things they are grateful for too.
Happy Birthday to ME!
