On any given day, I find myself telling my children about my childhood and the things I didn’t have growing up. When they complain about the internet being down, having too many toys to pick up, or how little time they got to stay in the pool, I remind them how fortunate they are. It’s not that I like to throw a pity party; on the contrary, I believe that talking to kids about poverty is essential if we want to raise them to be grateful for what they have and compassionate toward those who are less fortunate.

That being said, as someone who grew up in poverty, I believe it is crucial to emphasize people’s humanity while discussing poverty with children. I want my kids to know that although people in poverty may lack resources, it doesn’t mean they are perpetually sad. It’s also important to teach them that the way people live sometimes reflects their lack of schooling or knowledge in certain areas, but this doesn’t take away from their natural ability to be kind, generous, and compassionate.

When I tell my kids about the long power outages people experience in the Dominican Republic, I make sure to explain how that experience really felt for me. I describe how we had a routine in my family: as soon as the outage happened, we’d quickly get out of the house because the heat was unbearable without a fan. Then, we would climb up a shaky wooden ladder and go to the roof with a few area rugs and pillows, lying there and looking up at the stars and the moon on clear nights.

Mamá Amparo would tell us stories of her childhood in her tiny village in the small southern town of San Cristóbal, or she’d give us riddles to decipher. Other nights, we would just sing romantic ballads and recite poetry and décimas, letting the night cool down before going to sleep. We did this often, even when my grandma was older and it was hard for her to climb up the ladder.

Stories like this help my children understand that while I was poor, I was loved and happy with my family. It also teaches them about being resourceful and finding ways to make the most out of unfavorable situations. It doesn’t victimize people living in poverty while still recognizing their struggles. Talking to kids about poverty has to be balanced and truthful, and it’s a topic we should approach with a clear message and real knowledge of the experience.

For me, talking to kids about poverty is personal because I don’t want them to feel pity for people living in poverty. Instead, I want them to recognize that these people have lives, they love, they laugh, and they dream just like they do. I’ve experienced firsthand how people in the developed world can have a misguided view of the realities of the developing world. As the children of immigrants, I want my kids to be aware of the difference between lacking resources and being unhappy, violent, or ignorant—qualities often unfairly attributed to poverty and the developing world.

Talking to Kids About Poverty in Our Own Backyard

Along with sharing my own stories of living in poverty, I make my children aware of less fortunate people around us. I want them to know that there is no superiority in having more money or things, and that the fact we have electricity 24/7 (and the money to pay for the bill) doesn’t make us superior to those in different circumstances. If anything, it gives us the responsibility to care for what we have and be generous in our giving—not only of material things, but also of love, kindness, and empathy.

Many times, when we focus on poverty in Africa and Latin America, we create a vision of the United States as a place where everyone is rich or middle class. I think this prevents our children from connecting with the realities in their communities and robs them of the opportunity to want to give back and get involved.

With Hurricane Irma approaching through the Caribbean and Florida, there will be many images of people in dire situations. More often than not, these images will be of poor people suffering and struggling. This is a great opportunity to prompt your children to take action and guide them in understanding the situation for what it is. Encouraging generosity and empowering your children with the whole story of people in developing countries and here at home will help them connect with others on a deeper level.

5 Quick Tips for Talking to Kids About Poverty

1. Answer questions honestly and with empathy.
2. Initiate the conversation if your kids don’t ask.
3. Encourage your children to come up with a plan to help.
4. Don’t avoid questions, and be mindful of your body language.
5. Let your kids know about the actions you take to help those who are less fortunate.